Sunday, February 1, 2015

Dating: Advice i was never given

...but learned the hard way and through experience

Sometimes you just have to learn things the hard way...I'm not saying that it won't hurt in the end, i mean sometimes it could just end in anger but with anger comes pain so either way it's a lose lose.  I've come across some things i wish i would've known or just listened to throughout the last few years about dating...most i still use advice that's applicable to me nowadays but it all depends on the situation quite honestly, and the type of relationship you have with someone. 

1)  locks on phones don't mean anyone is hiding anything, STOP looking to deeply into it

2)  if they stop texting you min conversation it's ok.  Some people nap, get caught up in what they're doing, or simply don't want to text.  Don't get mad they will eventually text you back so disconnect from the electronic device in your hand and go be productive in another part of your life

3)  if he's able to drink more than a 6 pack in less than 2 hours that's not an achievement and doesn't deserve a high 5 for his tolerance level.  That really just means he just drinks too much.

4)  nothing goes as planned, nothings like the movies

5)  the little things do mean the most.  Sure buying me flowers is sweet, but coming home from the bad day at work I told you about before I got off and coming home to a back rub, a bottle of wine maybe and even my favorite movie that you went and rented is even better and shows you care so much more deeply......but if it's just the flowers then it's ok....some guys just simply don't know that sometimes we want originality but hey they tried....they thought of you when they saw those flowers in the store instead of walking right past them to find some bacon.....that right there is a big deal in itself

6)  Your boyfriend is not your best friend....he is your boyfriend.  Big difference.  Save the drama rants about what some BITCH said for your girlfriend when you have a ladies night or send them a text or call them up and have you guys an hour or 4 long rant about whatever crosses your head....when your done go enjoy your boyfriend and leave the drama where you left it.

7)  As hard as it may be, it really does pay off to make him wait to get the special intimate side of you.  If he likes you then he should respect you which means when you say no or stop that doesn't mean try harder.  If he continues or insist.....he's not in it for the right reasons....leave.

8)  love them and accept them.  Love them like you wish you could be loved.  Make them create  so many memories with you that when they look back every experience they did or had included you in it.

9)   the cute dates that you aren't original are acceptable and are cute!  that's ok

10)  simple is sometimes better

11)  humor is good.  Be weird!  Be awkward!  Be goofy!  It lets him know your human and real and comfortable in your own skin and guys love a good laugh.  if he picks on you then he likes you.

12)  NEVER talk about ex's around guys.  Even if its from 8 years ago ....guys don't care about what you and so and so did or what someone said to you or that the first time or last time you ate at chili's was with some other guy you dated.  

13)  Be honest.  Be real.  Be in the moment and go with your gut.  They things hardest to say are the purest.

14)  When he doesn't bring you around his friends and your gut says somethings wrong then follow your gut.  Guys want  their guy friends to meet a girl they are serious about.  They want other opinions and want to see how she clicks with his group so he can then, and eventually, hangout with them all as a group together.  If he's avoiding bringing you around his group that's probably because he's not that serious about what ya'll have going on.....just be upfront about it and/or leave and move on.

15)  It's ok to kiss on the first date but only if he was a gentleman.  Did he open the door for you to walk into the restaurant?  Did he let you sit first at the table?  Did he allow you to order first?  Was he respectful and not vulgar, did he avoid the whole getcha back to his place or try to invite himself back to yours without saying it flat out?  Think about his actions and not so much as his words and that'll show you what sorta guy he is sometimes.

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